The Guy Glossary

So, I thought, if I was going to continue this blog, it might be a good idea to introduce you to those people who may feature in it at some point. Good or bad, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do this, but it may be cathartic for me. So, in no particular order, let me introduce you to…

Pallet Man

I met this guy last week but I originally started talking to him over a year ago, before I left to go to the US. We chatted a fair bit before, he was a cheeky chap and I love a good sense of humor. We fell out before I went away.. we had arranged to meet and he cancelled to meet someone else!! So off to the US I went. Having come back a year later, I was browsing a dating site and saw his photo once more, so I dropped him a line and we started chatting. Same sense of humor, except this time we met for a few drinks. Which led to going to his place to watch a film… Don’t ask what the film was, we didn’t get that far… When I left, I had decided not to see him again, but having slept on it, I decided that I did actually like him (my defense walls are up at the moment) and there are a few red flags already (like he eyed up every girl that walked past us in the bar!) but we will see what happens. I’m keeping my heart to myself at the moment, its still mending itself..


This guy is something else. Suave, sophisticated, Parisien sense of style, tall, handsome… and married. I didn’t know. Either did anyone else. It seems I have the skills of a PI. though. He of course denied everything. To everyone. We still talk, but only in a work sense. Here’s a tip… never ever get involved at work.. its not worth it. Keep your professional integrity. Ive managed to claw mine back, and I’m hanging onto it from now on.

Mr Horizontal

No, not in that sense. Mr Horizontal is so laid back, its unbelievable. Tall, handsome. Pot head, music nut, mountain bike rider. He says I’m cool and he sucks. He doesn’t. He’s the cool one. His friends christened him Tinderella though. Says it all. We’re still friends and still go to dinner when I’m in the US, but we are just friends, no funny business. And he has such a sarcastic sense of humor. Which, mixed with my completely dry wit, makes for a great night out. And we talk about stuff. I’m not emotionally invested in him and so I feel I can talk to him about everything, even guy problems. He must think I’m nuts. I probably am. He’s still hot though.

American Boy

Where do I start with this one. He breaks my heart. The first guy I trusted for a looooong time. There’s a gentle side to him, a gentle nature. That hooked me. He seemed genuine. Ha. Yeah we were just casual, but if we wanted to see others we promised we’d tell each other. he didn’t. I know. I know much more than I should. And he doesn’t know that I know anything. Its a head fuck. He’s a head fuck. He’s still breaking my heart. Probably a lot more about that in later blog posts though. We are both messes, weirdos, so right for each other but so wrong at the same time. I can’t let him go. Not yet anyway.


I was with him a long time. left, came back, left again, came back again. A hermit, online game player, loving but manipulative, selfish but funny. Hard to let that go when its been so long but it wasn’t good for me. It made me ill. And it can’t be all about him all the time. I lost my life somewhere there, and Im only now clawing it back again.


Hmm, we talked online for 6 months, never quite getting it right to meeting up. Then we did. Once. Never saw him again..

Mr Intellectual Wannabe Hipster

Needed a drinking partner one night. He turned up. We got on, I think it was the alcohol though. Next time I met him he thought I was boring. Ha, looking back he was soooo boring. Tried to be intellectual by showing me some of his writings. I reserved judgement. He thought he was hip and cool. No. Dirty fingernails, work jeans still on, with a hole in them, very tatty and dirty laptop bag… ugh, what was I thinking.

The Bee Player

I have fond memories. We were friends. We thought we were both hot, but decided to only be friends. Once we drew that line, we thought it safe to flirt, as we’d never cross that line, right? And we didn’t, not really. I was with someone at the time and got found out. Flirty texts was all it was, but it wasn’t seen that way, no matter what I said. It blew up, we stopped talking. Then we started talking again and it blew up and that was that. He’s still a player. Always will be.

Toy Boy

He was far too young. I was old enough to be his mum. But in some ways he was the more mature one. Sometimes. He wanted to get serious. He wants to move in with me. Me being cynical me believed he wanted to move in as I had my own apartment, made good money and basically he could live off me. No chance. Ive worked my ass off to have a decent life. I like equals. He wasn’t that. He stalked me. Did deliveries in my area and would photograph the outside of my apartment and send me the photos. I chucked him out one night, right in the middle of the deed. Id had enough. it’s funny looking back on it now. He was so mad at me for it. But a year and a half later, he apologized for treating me that way. He regretted it. Tough. I moved on.

The Wife Beater

Ugh. The Wife Beater. Those were the last words I ever spoke to him. He didn’t like it. Truth hurts huh.I married him (no sign at all beforehand of what would happen. Im not that stupid). But 7 years of being told how shit I was, no-one would want me, don’t say this, say that. Don’t say it in that tone of voice, don’t look slutty, don’t look nice, then slaps, punches, kicks, shoving, pushing, threats, choking. AT one point I feared for my life and I got out. Never looked back. Ever. He’s married his third wife now. She’ll learn. He hasn’t changed. Im good friends with his 2nd wife now, and we both know he won’t change. Manipulative, sarcastic, insecure, power hungry. I hope the pedestal he put himself on comes crashing down.

I think that’s enough for now, memories abound in my mind, some good, some bad. All dealt with. I’m the strong one. Would I change any of it? No. It made me who I am today. I still fail badly. Still fall for the wrong guys and am blind to the red flags that seem to pop up constantly. I’ll get there though, and I have so many stories to tell you along the way 🙂

Who would you like to hear about first?


Miss X

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